Metamorphosis

On a snowy day, over 2 years ago, I lost my job. It was a job I loved and prided over. I felt good with every paycheck I brought home and every good deed I did. It fulfilled me and gave me a source of confidence. On that day I was crushed.

The day after the loss was a turning point for myself and my Master. He decided that I would begin a new career, one that was not based on physical income, but of building his home and filling it with warmth, comfort and organization. I was to become his stay-at-home submissive. I admit that it was a lovely dream of mine to be his domestic slave, but nothing I ever entertained as every happening. He on the other had had it in the plans from the very beginning. It was not big deal for him to move that into place earlier than he planned.

It was overwhelming. Not only did I not think I was service-minded AT ALL, but that it would now become my everyday job. To say I struggled would be an understatement.

The first thing that changed is that I had a new higher standard of clean. It’s so much easier to say well I’ve been at work all day, vacuuming can wait till the weekend. Not so when you have nothing to your day but home care. I started reading up on the right way to clean, and how clean were things with the way I was doing it. Turns out... not very clean at all. I retaught myself to dust and clean and sanitize. I learned to notice messes before they got too big and to keep the dishes washed.

I pulled out a binder and started making a home care journal. I put everything in it, I organized my days down to the hour sometimes. I wrote how-tos on anything I needed to remember. Little did I know I was putting the cart before the horse. I had no idea of time management when it came to household duties. And the computer lured me into wasting hours of days that I could have been learning and perfecting my new job.

I slid into laziness. Then I’d pick up the binder again and give it another go. It was just too much too fast. So I started again. I thought maybe if I focused more on setting hours in the day to work I’d get more done. I used the kitchen timer to keep me on task. But I burned out fast. I almost gave up.

It put a huge strain on our relationship. I was failing but couldn’t understand why. I asked to go back to work; at least there I felt that I was contributing to the house. He didn’t see it that way. My job was to make him happy and he was happy with me right here at home all day. I pushed at my service. I tried to make sense of how I could be a service submissive and if it was compatible with my own vision of myself. He declined my pleas to find a job several more times.

And I started yet again. This time with routines. One for before bed and one for the morning. These worked amazingly well and I still do them today. The house was a bit more organized from that day on. I added a daily cleaning list with basic chores that had to be done every day. I started to see my home duties as a job.

And that was the turning point. Through my struggle, backsliding and lack of motivation I never saw what I was doing as my job. It was chores, it was housework and it was never good enough for me because I couldn’t see the monetary income from it. But then, I realized that there was a lot of intangible income I was providing. I kept to a budget, I saved money on food, gas, and homecare items. I started making my own cleaners, knitting and mending instead of purchasing. I learned to scratch cook a lot of food we’d waste our money on going out for.

We were happy, Master was thrilled with me being home and as I realized that I began to be happy. My routines still drive me everyday to get everything accomplished and it even leaves my afternoons free to write and work on my websites. I live a joyful life. It’s not always roses and sometimes I wish I had a larger household budget, but I make do with what I’m given. I’m pleased with the things I make and wonder why I would ever buy them again. We eat healthier, cheaper and made from scratch food. I clean with safer cleaners that have a smaller impact on the environment.

Best yet, I’ve embraced being of service to him in the home. I love my job and I’m glad he stuck it out with me through all the pushing against it. I’m living my dream and I never thought it would be reality or that I’d be happy with it. My job is building a happy, stress-free life in a hectic fast-paced world.

BIO: lunaKM is a stay-at-home full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. She has been writing about her personal submission since 2003 and is editor of Submissive Guide where self-help and submissive exploration are emphasized for novice and experienced submissive alike. You can contact her on FetLife or via email at subguide@gmail.com.